Every horoscope sign, besides its undeniable qualities, is also known for its negative characteristics. You have surely heard of the Vanity of Libra, the Hedonism of Taurus, or the Pisces' love for drinks. Find out the dark sides of your horoscope sign in this humorous text.
ARIES today's horoscope
An aggressive manipulator who cries and whines when things don't go their way. They are impatient and tactless, and they quickly give up on everything they start. They are loud and annoying, making a lot of noise without saying anything meaningful. Men are obsessed with intimate, but seduction is not their strong suit.
They would prefer to go back to the past when they could hit their chosen woman on the head with a club, throw her over their shoulder, and take her to their cave. Aries women seek an exciting alpha male as a partner, but somehow always end up with a pushover who, out of fear of her outbursts, can only say "yes, dear."
TAURUS
Boring and lazy parasites who only know how to eat and drink, and their lives revolve around breakfast, lunch, dinner, and all the other snacks. It is impossible to get them out of the house, as emptying the fridge and lounging in front of the TV are their only hobbies. They dislike change and stubbornly stick to their opinions, even when everyone around them knows they are wrong.
They are lazy and sluggish, but if anyone dares to criticize them, they will raise their nose to the sky and cool off the relationship. Taurus today's horoscope loves to spend money on themselves and delicious food that they will devour alone, but don't expect to be well-hosted in their home. They are stubborn penny-pinchers who save fine delicacies and quality drinks for themselves, offering you only water.
GEMINI
Annoying chatterboxes who couldn't keep quiet even if their life depended on it. They are boring and tire others with stories that have no beginning or end, seeing themselves as top entertainers who should be in show business. They are born for telemarketing, selling encyclopedias, and offering telecommunication services in front of supermarkets, or any job that involves harassing people.
They excel in politics as well since they are shameless individuals who have no morals whatsoever. As a friend, they are a nightmare because you can't rely on them. If you are not interesting to them, they will find a new best friend who will have the patience for their endless stories and gossip, as long as they realize that's the only thing a superficial Gemini can talk about.
CANCER
The biggest sensitive souls of the Zodiac who cry over every little thing, and if you just give them a stern look, you'll have to apologize and convince them for days that you didn't mean anything bad. You can recognize a Cancer by their teary eyes and the paper tissues always at hand, as you never know when they will experience a new emotional breakdown.
They like to think of themselves as considerate and caring people who enjoy taking care of others, but what they consider showing affection, others see as possessive and obsessive behavior, even stalking. Most Cancers often like to have a drink because, as they claim, they are affected by the fact that the world is a cruel place full of suffering. The truth is they are just lazy couch potatoes who love to eat and drink, using every opportunity to satisfy their hedonistic desires.
LEO
The imaginary Leo is convinced that he is god-given, and if he is not the center of attention, he experiences a nervous breakdown. He is preoccupied with himself and his greatness, so he often doesn't listen to others and doesn't notice what is happening around him. If you are a masochist and a sufferer whose goal is to constantly please someone, flatter them, and in return receive absolutely nothing, Leo is the ideal person for you.
Leos like to emphasize how generous and helpful they are, but the truth is that everything they do, they do solely for recognition and gratitude. If they help you or give you something, you will have to express gratitude to them until the grave and tell them how wonderful and amazing they are.
VIRGO
In a truly fierce competition, Virgo has managed to earn the title of the most boring zodiac sign. This nagging complainer is constantly criticizing, finding faults, and looking for flaws, so it's truly strange that they have people around them who tolerate them. Virgos often say that they complain only because they strive for perfection, but that's just nonsense.
They are so frustrated and malicious that complaining, criticizing, and making others feel bad becomes their ideal pastime and favorite hobby. They are obsessed with cleanliness, health, and hygiene, which are also the only topics they know how to talk about. If you are looking for someone to uplift or comfort you, avoid the grumpy Virgo.
LIBRA
Boring and self-absorbed, Libra spends most of their time in front of the mirror, admiring their beauty and captivating smile. Being extremely lazy, they get through life based on their appearance, which becomes increasingly difficult with age.
The dream of these zodiac sloths is to marry rich and not do anything for their whole life, so the ideal occupation for them is a gold digger. Besides annoying others with their laziness, they drive their loved ones crazy by constantly seeking advice on absolutely everything, as they are incapable of making any decisions themselves.
SCORPIO
An evil manipulator who views the world from a negative perspective and ruins the mood of everyone around them. They are extremely intelligent, but they use their intelligence to destroy someone or seek revenge for the pain they have caused. It should be noted that Scorpio today's horoscope can be hurt if you just look at them the wrong way, and if you do something truly humiliating to them, they will invest all their energy into planning revenge.
They are jealous and possessive, regularly stalking their romantic partners, checking their phones and reading messages, and if their partner even exchanges a word with someone of the opposite-gender, they are in trouble. Scorpios are so obsessed with sex that there are often true maniacs among them.
Those who don't try to lure you into bed will drown you in stories about death, ghosts, past lives, and other things that represent an eternal source of inspiration for the dark Scorpio.
SAGITTARIUS
A bon vivant who lives from today to tomorrow, mostly relying on others. Lazy, but loves a comfortable life, so they often attach themselves to those more capable and wealthier than themselves, who provide them with means of living. Life coaches, whisperers to dogs, cats, and hamsters, as well as various fortune tellers and seers are often born under this sign, as these jobs allow them to deceive others, talk a lot, and make money without any effort.
They are very chatty and annoying, and often have a strange, childish sense of humor that no one but them understands. They like to say that they are philosophers with the soul of a poet, but in reality, they are slackers and idlers who prefer to torment people by philosophizing about "deep" topics rather than getting a job done.
CAPRICORN
A stubborn miser who would rather give up a kidney than lend a penny to someone, so don't approach them if you need a loan. Their main goal in life is to get by as well as possible with as little money as possible, so they often eat at friends' or relatives' houses, wear gifted clothes, and boast about it. The fact that others pity them doesn't bother them at all, because while they may be in rags, they have gold bars and savings in the bank that others can only dream of.
Besides being stingy, Capricorn is a true misanthrope who considers everyone around them stupid and boring. Pessimistic, cynical, and mocking, they ruin everyone's mood, so over time, they are tolerated only by those who secretly hope that they will leave them a few coins after death, which never happens because Capricorn takes their money and bonds with them to the grave.
AQUARIUS
A fake humanist and altruist whose lifelong dream is to establish a cult where they will be the leader. This way, they can do what they love the most - earn a lot of money from naive weaklings, and an additional privilege is that as the cult leader, they can have relationships with all the attractive members of the opposite-gender.
Besides acting like a false prophet and self-proclaimed charismatic leader, this idler often dreams of becoming an abstract painter, sculptor, or performer who can exhibit some of their bodily secretions and call them art. Aquarians take pride in their nobility, but fundamentally, they are selfish beings who help others only if they benefit from it.
PISCES
A loser and idler who lives under the false belief that they are a poet and romantic. The truth is, they are just an ordinary slacker who would rather write poems and read poetry with a glass in hand than get a job and do something useful for themselves and their family. A day without alcohol is a lost day for them, and often under the influence of drinks, they do foolish things that, to be honest, they would do even when sober.
Since they can't distinguish reality from imagination, they often fall in love with someone whose picture they saw on Facebook or Instagram and maintain a relationship with them, even though the other person is not aware of it. Many who stalk, send threatening letters, or harass innocent people in any other way are born under this sign, so keep in mind that if someone is stalking you, sending you threatening messages, or love poems written in tears or blood, you have come across a Pisces.